A Conversation Changer in
Four-Inch Heels

by Rabbi Steven Wernick

Scientists have recently discovered that people who smile more frequently tend to be happier. While this news appears, at first glance, to be hardly newsworthy, perhaps even painfully obvious, it contains a profound realization. What the scientists found is that the very act of smiling –whether one was genuinely happy or not – actually produced happiness.

Taking creative license with the scientists’ findings, I believe that speaking about the future of Conservative Judaism with a smile – not a furrowed brow – will lead to a happier, reinvigorated community.

This is hardly a simplistic suggestion. We have been talking about affecting transformation. The first step is by changing the nature of the conversation by adopting a bold, positive, can-do attitude.

The inspiration for this thinking is a young woman by the name of Gaby Roth, president of the Hagalil region of USY. Last Shabbat, I had the privilege of hearing Gaby deliver the d’var torah at my shul, Agudath Israel, in Caldwell, NJ. With her fresh and original approach to spirituality, her authentic engagement with Jewish ritual and her unbridled enthusiasm for being a Conservative Jew, Gabrielle Roth is a conversation changer.

Let me share some of Gaby’s “torah,” which was focused on the Biblical commandment to observe the Sabbath. With candor and courage, Gabrielle detailed her personal spiritual journey from a non-Sabbath observer to one who is shomeret Shabbat. In so doing, she focused on a central truth about community building:

“Only after challenging myself to observe Shabbat was I able to realize that the purpose of these halachic rules are not to box us in or hinder us, but rather to set us apart as Jews and to form a unique community.”

Gaby spoke with exceptional warmth and insight about the influence of Agudath Israel, laying out the “10 Unspoken Commandments” of the shul, a list that provoked laughter borne of recognition.

One of the Commandments she detailed was “Thou shalt recognize the fabulousness of the Shabbat when you walk into shul and see high tables with purple table cloths outside the social hall.”

This image – vivid and highly specific – nailed the essence of successful ritual programming. How many kehillot likewise convey the fabulousness of Shabbat?

There is one more message from Gaby that I wish to highlight because it is rich with implications about the success of Conservative Judaism in creating a laity that is religiously engaged while being full members of secular society:

USY, said Gaby, has been an enormous influence in her spiritual development, helping her to “grow and thrive as a Jewish teenager.” She writes, “The Hagalil senior girls sitting before me taught me what it means to stand as a Jewish woman in the 21st Century, whether in a kitah discussion or wearing four inch heels.”

Four inch heels. Purple table cloths. A young person who is paying attention to the details of her kehilla’s Shabbat celebration while learning from her leaders at USY, whom she respects and relates to because they have demonstrated that being Jewish goes hand and hand with being Gaby.

You should have seen the smiles on the faces of every single person at Agudath Israel during and after Gaby’s presentation.

It is time to smile, not look towards our future with furrowed brows.

It is time to shake out the purple tablecloths and create colorful, compelling community moments.

It is time to change the conversation. I hope that you will join me and hundreds of engaged conversation changers at United Synagogue’s Centennial.

Be a conversation changer by joining the Conversation of the Century.